People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel...
This is a Mantra I’ve grown up with.... My mom always stressed upon and always said “Behave in a manner that you would like if someone was to do to you” hence I’ve tried to measure my words before speaking or evaluate my actions ... because of which sometimes I’ve been called calculative and a snob... either of which I believe I’m not.... Also I’m not trying to say I have been perfect and have never hurt a person... well that’s something that’s impossible.... what I’m saying is that I’ve always genuinely tried that I don’t do something that could make a person feel bad....
Anyways in the last few years there have been few incidences that have symbolically reiterated this Mantra over and again.
Few days back I bumped into a school friend whom I had had a fall out with as school was coming to an end. We hadn’t spoken since then. I saw her and we exchanged pleasantries and I asked her if she wanted to join me for a cup of coffee... she was hesitant but she agreed... trying to remain polite I asked if it was all good ... sitting for the coffee and all and hoping I hadn’t put her in a tight spot in anyway... and she laughed off saying “So you haven’t changed much it seems... Old habits die hard it seems...always measuring your words and actions” ... well I didn’t know how to react and I just smiled.... Our coffee came and we were exchanging notes on our life when she out of nowhere just started off... “Listen, I don’t even remember why we had a fall out.... I guess we were immature and stupid... But if you don’t mind lets mend the bridges”. Obviously I was slightly taken aback but very happily I agreed too... Not like I remember why had gotten bitter with each other....
We started getting nostalgic and reminiscing the old days when she told me, “You remember the music competition we had gone for.... I still can’t forget what you did... I had a hoarse throat and was really nervous about how I would be able to sing... but you not only comforted me through words but you from somewhere arranged warm water and disprins for me so that I could gargle and get myself into a position to sing... It’s truly because of you that I won that day”
I was so surprised that on my way back I just kept thinking that a small gesture of care and concern made such an impact that she remembers it till yet...
This got me thinking about my brother’s wedding that took place 2 years ago... obviously we had family and guests from all over and its a custom “atithi devo bhava” that you consider your guess above all... and that’s what I tried too... we used to have breakfasts and lunches at home before the main functions... so the whole family used to be together having lunch and we kids would help out a little by calling everyone or helping serve the breads and other necessary things around...for those 3-5 days till the guests were around.... Before leaving my Maternal Uncle specially called my mum and had a word with her. He went on to tell her that they had a wonderful time and there was nothing more that they could ask for in terms of how much we looked after them. He then added, about me, that your daughter has been exceptional. She made sure that this little girl provided breads and whatever drinks we asked for and only after she had made sure everyone was well looked after for did she sit for her own meal. She remembered everyone’s likings and then made sure that people get what they like. My Maternal uncle told my Mom that he would never be able to forgot the way I took care of them.
This had surprised me because according to me I had done nothing extra ordinary.... it was just something small that I did which eventually just stayed with them...
So the mantra came in front of us again - People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel..
I told mom about these incidences and she said it was bound to happen... we have taught you were your childhood to evaluate and do things and measure what you saw because people never forget how you make them feel and this not only stands for the nice things you do for people but nasty things too....
People eventually with the passage of time forget the nasty words but rarely do they forget the hurt they felt then... the humiliation they had been put through and this is what culminates into grudges that are kept for long long after the bitter incidences.....
So just try and keep a check on what you say and do.... Its always a pleasant feeling when someone remembers you with warmth and care...
No comments:
Post a Comment