Cinema Is Waiting To Tear Out Of The Confines Of A Fixed Space And Rigid Duration

Director Rita Rodriguez is well-known for getting her shooting done rather swiftly. She has defined her method as one extensive day of work, starting with shots and moving into editing altogether within the same day. She likes to be able to examine her work as it’s produced so that she knows how the final creation would look like. Relate that to someone like Ganga Tiwari, who spends quite a bit of her time and budget in post-production, and has a large crew and many people too manage; it’s easy to see that technology has taken film in very diverse directions.

Digital technology has made the art of film making more accessible. Decent quality digital camcorders are obtainable to anybody, and editing programs can be accessed on a home computer. Websites such as You Tube offer global exposure for budding film makers. Films that would not have been previously digital technology can nowadays be seen across the globe.

Spectators are waiting to interact with all the entertainment provided. Young filmmakers across the globe crowd-fund their films and put it on cyberspace for viewing, virtually forever.

That’s why, Shlok Sharma made Zoo, a feature film that he shot on an iPhone 6 Plus by putting in his money. He bought the 128GB model for around Rs. 90,000. In India, it was the first feature film shot on a phone. He made no compromises. “I wanted to tell my story the way I wanted to”, he said.

COSTS

Film is the favored medium of old school film makers, but it’s typically too expensive for a studio to authorize Aside from the expenditure, film is impractical to reuse. Cinematographers who use film must develop it, and then there is the inflated procedure of editing the film.

Going digital mainly means foregoing the huge canisters of film that used to be identical with film making. It also means that the likes of production houses in Delhi finish their shoot timetables with less excess, keeping the entire project under or close to budget.

EDITING

Post production is an added area where the usage of digital trumps the usage of film. Adding visual effects to film was repeatedly an accurate art, where the effect had to blend flawlessly with what was being shot. This was a painstaking process that editors no longer go through. Digital effects are created and added to the shot within the same program or family of programs. This digital software like adobe premiere pro also allows editors to work on entire sections of a film, easily piecing scenes together after the post production effects are added in.

SHOOTING

Shooting in digital is much simpler because you can do more in less time. Multiple cameras can run on the same shot, so you always get the angle you want without having to waste time on retakes. Small Production Houses in Delhi like Jamun, Little Anarchy, Blue Mango like shooting digitally because it makes it smooth to shoot multiple takes, and to get numerous angles more economically. A director’s bread and butter are pace and performance.

To conclude all that can be said is now that millions of cameras are in the hands of amateurs and professionals alike, there is a revolution in movie making and exhibition.

PS: more to follow keep your eyes linked in

Time to Give Back - W Pratiksha Hospital

Through the ages women have taken the role of being the one who cares for all of us, sacrifices her happiness for us... its about time we think about them and do something. Now its the time to give back and with this philosophy and idea in mind originated W Pratiksha Hospital.


 Yes today in my blog I am going to plagiarize or lets say I am too inspired to change the words.


Pratiksha Hospital is a reputed and recognized name in East India, with over 20 years of experience in providing quality healthcare. There medical excellence, patient focused approach, dedication to scientific research and corroborated practices has made them one of the most reliable and valued service providers in the field


W,  their flagship hospital is a unique facility with an exclusive focus on women's healthcare. It is located on the Golf Course Extension Road, Sector 56, Sushant Lok II, Gurgaon


But what is  W Pratiksha Hospital


It is about understanding the needs of a women


It is about Ensuring her Well being through every phase of her life


It is about Making her experience Wonderful


It is about Caring for the Womb where life takes shape


It is about Leveraging collective wisdom and experience to guarantee holistic care


It is about Ensuring Warmth in everything they do


It is about simply giving back and caring for the most important people in our life


In this day and age where there are so many crimes committed against women there are people ensuring that they get the best care. They have world class facilities in the field of




Gynaecology and Minimal Access Surgery


Reproductive Medicine and IVF


Obstetrics and High Risk Pregnancy


Pediatrics and Neonatology


Wellness and Preventive Medicine.


SO, come and let's visit W Pratiksha after all they are waiting for us women to take care. It's a place that not only ensures that you're well taken care of but a place of sheer inspiration. A feel good place.


You can also visit them at www.w-hospital.in

My diseased body & lonely mind: How they’ve broken my spirit

special thanks to shrinking couch for encouraging dialogue on mental health in India

Meri adhuri kahani lo dastaan ban gayee…
No don’t worry my life isn’t all that dramatic or sad as I began the article with. It’s just that I had read somewhere that you must always have an impactful beginning as it keeps the reader captivated.

But here’s me converting my ‘adhuri kahaani’ into a ‘dastaan’ anyway.
I was a born achiever. Obviously modesty wasn’t my best friend. I was a jack of all trades and it took me a long way. Praiseworthy performance all through high school. Great friends. Lofty ambitions. Fun college life. More hard work. Overall, an awesome life.
Everything was quite peachy till I stepped in for a Masters at NIFT. I got admission in Mumbai and I had to shift away from home in Delhi.

It was just then in 2005 that I was diagnosed with my disease – diabetes.

Well who cares right? It wasn’t cancer or something and I wasn’t dying because of it right? Lots of people in the world have it and function just fine with it.

I was ready to embrace it and make it just another way of life for myself.

So what if I couldn’t have my 10 glasses of sodas that I did every day or my fill of chocolates or cakes or toffees and satiate my cravings? I was sure there were alternatives. I told myself that I would manage and breeze through! At that time, I was certain that a focus on my studies was most important. My career was my life, my everything.
But as time passed and semesters passed my system rusted. My body wasn’t behaving like a normal diabetic and things were just way out of control. I was in the hospital more and in my class less and somehow making it through semesters because I was stubborn. I had decided that I wasn’t going to let go and that I will finish what I started. And I wanted to do it ‘normally’.

So I partied like my peers whenever I got the chance and I guess that further degenerated my system. By the time I came back home in 2007 I had multiple disorders. I started getting frequent urinary tract infections. My liver functions were altered, my kidney functions were altered. And as fate would have it while I was studying in NIFT I had had a minor accident where I had injured my spine and now I have something called a herniated disc which is similar to a slip disc. One thing was for sure – I could not hope for a 9 to 5 job so that was quite a blow.

Again, I thought of it as a temporary state of affairs, that things will get better soon and that I will be back with a bang. Little did I know that life had some crueler in store for me.

I took a year long sabbatical to get better and to get back to a fighting condition but my health only got worse. The complications increased and one thing lead to another. The next thing I knew, I couldn’t digest food. I would be vomiting all day. I got an electrolyte imbalance. My sugar levels started fluctuating like crazy.

Now hospitalisations became even more frequent and the hospital became a second home. It almost became a joke – a dirty joke that no one took seriously.

Not even my extended family. No one cared anymore whether I was hospitalised or not. It was a normal routine affair. It somehow became a blame game. Everyone around me started blaming me. I started picking up on things like “she must be doing something wrong” “it’s ok if she’s in the hospital, she doesn’t listen”. Everyone was showering advice on to me and if I didn’t listen to every single one of them, then that was reason enough for them to believe that I had only myself to blame if I landed up in the hospital.
Whether I ate dal chawal or chinese I was going to vomit for 15-20 days and derail and go towards hospitalisation depending how long it had been since my previous visitation. No one seemed to understand that every 40-50 days, I would end up in the hospital regardless of what I did or ate.

No one seemed to understand my plight, or that I was cornered.

No matter how much I fought it, it just started getting to me and somewhere I distanced myself from everyone. I felt alone and misunderstood. My stubbornness to live life as best as I could was considered a defiance. I became the target of more blame-ful words “what’s the use of telling her” “it’s stupid to advise her” “she’ll do what she wants anyway”. Between my distancing and others getting fed up, my conversations with those around me became cordial hi-hellos.

And thus began the journey of isolation.

With continuous hospitalizations and with such bad health, I lost contact with friends. To top it all, I started building walls to protect myself from soon to be nonexistent friends. I started feeling that people who have stood by also would runaway or distance themselves and hence I became protective about myself. It sort of became a self fulfilling prophecy. I would push them away and they would pull away and I would use that as an excuse to push them away even more. I was angry and alone. I became more stubborn and sad. So it came as no surprise when they labeled me as clinically depressed.

Not much has changed over the years. I’ve been on medication since. I’m also dependent on my immediate family. Friends don’t visit me.

But more than this, I’ve lost my understanding of right and wrong emotions. I can’t understand if it’s ok to be sad about so much happening or not. I’m supposed to be grateful for life, no? I don’t know if I’m ever truly happy despite so much happening. I don’t know how to feel ‘normal’ or present myself ‘normally’ to others. I crave for a lot of things. I crave for a life. For a normal life. For friends. For a social life. To go for lunches. To eat chinese food which I can’t touch. For a partner whom I can talk to at stupid hours of the day, someone I can hold on to. A job. A career. I crave for everything that I know is just now only a dream – that I know that I must forego.
Somehow though, life isn’t over.

Little things like playing with my nieces and nephews have helped or hugging mom and dad have helped. I discovered I could write a bit and I have done a little freelance writing which has helped me cope. My passion for reading has helped me get better – books are always such unconditional companions. My love for Salman Khan and a want to see his movies has helped me get better (seriously).  I seriously just wanted to see all his interviews his appearances on dance shows and other reality shows. It's just something about Sir's eyes that is a feel good factor that makes you feel alright. and now since I've become a little better I just have one wish I want to meet him and tell him that I completely adore him and I owe him a lot.I love movies so whenever I have been out of bed and a good movie has been playing, I have made sure the producer of the movie makes some money.

I guess it’s become all about taking joy in the small things in the little windows I have between hospitalizations.

I’ve become a bit better over the years but I’ve lost a lot so I don’t know how I will replace all of that. Everyone has moved on very fast and I’ve been left behind. Now I have to find my own way to somewhere. I’m scared. I’m still on my journey to get better and it just seems so long.

I can’t end on any hopeful note really. I’m still trying to make sense of the unending struggle. So I guess it’s still an incomplete tale yet to be written. At least I’ve come to prefer it this way.

Someone I Met

This about few years ago when, I had met my friend who works in the armed forces, he narrated me the story of Major Mitali Madhumita. Mitali, a 35-year-old Indian army officer from Orissa, had been in Kabul less than a year. Fluent in Dari, the most widely spoken language in Afghanistan, she was there to teach English to the first women officer cadets to be recruited to the Afghan National Army. She was awakened at six o’clock in the morning of February 26, 2010 by the ringing of her mobile phone.

It was a sensitive posting, not so much because of gender issues as political ones: India’s regional rival, Pakistan, was extremely touchy about India providing military assistance to the government in Afghanistan and had made it very clear that it regarded the presence of any Indian troops or military trainers there as an unacceptable provocation. For this reason everyone on the small Indian army English Language Training Team, including Mitali, and all the Indian army doctors and nurses staffing the new Indira Gandhi Kabul Children’s Hospital, had been sent to Afghanistan unarmed, and in civilian dress. They were being put up not in an army barracks, or at the Indian Embassy, but in a series of small, discreet guest houses dotted around the city’s diplomatic quarter.

The phone call was from a girlfriend of Mitali’s who worked for Air India at Kabul airport. Breathless, she said she had just heard that two of the Indian guest houses, the Park and the Hamid, were under attack by militants. As the only woman on her team, Mitali had been staying in separate lodgings about two miles away from the rest of her colleagues, who were all in the Hamid. Within seconds, Mitali was pulling on her clothes, along with the hijab she was required to wear, and running, alone and unarmed, through the empty morning streets of Kabul toward the Hamid.

“I just thought they might need my help,” she told me recently in New Delhi.

As she dashed past the Indian Embassy, Mitali was recognized by one of the guards from diplomatic security who shouted to her to stop. The area around the guest houses was mayhem, he told her. She should not go on alone. She must return immediately to her lodgings and stay there.

“I don’t require your permission to rescue my colleagues,” Mitali shouted back, and kept on running. When she passed the presidential compound, she was stopped again, this time at gunpoint, by an Afghan army security check post. Five minutes later she had charmed one of the guards into giving her a lift in his jeep. Soon they could hear bursts of automatic weapons, single shots from rifles and loud grenade blasts.

“As we neared the area under attack I jumped out of the jeep and ran straight into the ruins of what had been the Hamid guesthouse. It was first light, but because of all the dust and smoke, visibility was very low and it was difficult to see anything. The front portion of the guesthouse was completely destroyed—there was just a huge crater. Everything had been reduced to rubble. A car bomb had rammed the front gate and leveled the front of the compound. Three militants then appeared and began firing at anyone still alive. I just said, ‘Oh my God,’ and ran inside.

“I found my way in the smoke to the area at the back where my colleagues had been staying. Here the walls were standing but it was open to the sky—the blast had completely removed the roof, which was lying in chunks all over the floor. There was cross-firing going on all around me, and the militants were throwing Chinese incendiary grenades. Afghan troops had taken up positions at the top of the Park Residence across the road and were firing back. I couldn’t see the militants, but they were hiding somewhere around me.

“As quietly as I could, I called for my colleagues and went to where their rooms had been, but I couldn’t find them anywhere. I searched through the debris and before long started pulling out bodies. A man loomed out of the gloom and I shouted to him to identify himself. But he wasn’t a terrorist—he was the information officer from our embassy and he began helping me. Together we managed to get several injured people out of the rubble and into safety.

“Then we heard a terrible blast. We later learned that Major Jyotin Singh had tackled a suicide bomber, and by holding him from behind had prevented him entering the Park Residence. The bomber was forced to blow himself up outside. Jyotin had saved the lives of all the medical team inside.

“But the only one of my colleagues who hadn’t been killed on the spot, Major Nitesh Roy, died of his 40% burns in hospital three days later. I was the only one of my team who came back alive.”

In all 18 people were killed in the attack that morning, nine of them Indians, and 36 were wounded. Among the dead found beneath the debris was the assistant consul general from the new Indian consulate in Kandahar. This consulate was a particular bugbear of the Pakistanis, who accused it of being a base for RAW—the Research and Analysis Wing, India’s external intelligence agency. The Pakistanis believed RAW was funding, arming and encouraging the insurgency in Baluchistan, the province that has been waging a separatist struggle ever since it was incorporated into the new nation of Pakistan in 1947.

This tiff between India and Pakistan has continued ever since 1947 and there has been a constant blame game without any resolution. Many innocent people - civilians or our security/armed forces have lost their life during this period. The above mentioned interview of Mitali was also taken by the famous author William Dalrymple who used it as a part of his main article – “A deadly triangle – Afghanistan, Pakistan and India”.

 

Someone I met Part 1 continued

I met someone recently and we spoke about lots of things. Although, I am a writer by profession now but I studied to work in the textile industry. My father belongs to this industry and I aspired to grow in it too. Circumstances changed that and I spoke to this somewhat about the industry and his growth and he narrated few instances that I thought I must share. This is the same someone I shared with you before...Mr Kapur, he currently heads the South Asia sourcing operations of a major Department Store in the US. And this is how he narrated few of his tales, some might overlap with the ones I’ve put before, but they have additional information added to them now. I thoroughly enjoyed them.. Hope you do too. And he says

But things are much more different now from what they where say two decades ago in the quota regime, where we had to fight for every contract, each deal was a coveted one. Today if your product is good you get the deal. In those times we had to get the pricing right, packaging right everything right and still lost business. I remember having passed out from the elite IIFT school, I was ready for hard work but for the corporate concept/world hard work. So working with the Murugappa Group, my stint here had been 8-10 months, I remember it distinctly, I was in Aurai, Bhadohi sending a shipment of Gabbeh, shabby and loom knotted rugs to one of our buyers and we were getting pressed for time. We had to send the shipment and the labour to load the consignment was small in number, so me and my friend we just rolled up our sleeves and got along with the labour and started picking up rugs with our hands and loading it so that we could help to make the shipment in time. The labour kept telling us “Please leave it boss”, but we had to do it with them because there was no time and we wanted to all we could do to help and finish the work.

Also I remember in the early years I would go to niche areas in India for cotton sheeting products. I would have to venture into areas like Solapur, Jalgaon in Maharashtra; Bharuch, Vadodara, Rajkot, Bhavnagar, Kalol in Gujarat Madurai, Tirunel velli, Tuticorin, Salem in South and we had to keep costs low. So I travelled by second class railways wherever it would take me and by the lowest accommodation to my destination. We would have tea in the clay kullars or local snacks that were available on each station of different state as if it was a delicacy.

In those years I would have to travel abroad to meet suppliers and get orders for my company. Being a vegetarian who has a strict mushroom allergy can be a huge challenge for a frequent traveller. After returning from trips feeling pretty bovine most of the times, what with the variety of leaves I'd get to eat in my insipid salads, it would be time for some stuffed 'aloo paranthas' immediately on getting back home. This was a tradition that my beloved mother started years back, either she would make them and pack them in Tiffin so that when I return at wee hours in the morning I could have them or she would leave a message on the kitchen counter and I would go under the Moolchand flyover(Delhi) and half them there. I wonder if the guy still exists.

I just love travelling with my family. We've done several places in India - beaches, hill stations, wild life reserves et al. The highlight was a fortnight long road trip we did across Rajasthan when my son was all of two years. This we did in the last days of December and I remember it so clearly because I fought with my wife for it, it was New Year’s Eve, and we were in Bikaner without any booking for proper accommodation. There was a complete festive surrounding on the desert and we were on the sand dunes with just 3 charpai’s to sleep on. My wife took my son on one, I was on another and our loyal servant on the third. We somehow spent that night out in the open but the next day we checked in to proper accommodation.

These are few of my sweet memories from my early travel days. In those early days when we had to be frugal and literally save every buck but now things are different.

 

 

Someone I met 2

I have been holidaying in Bhimtal and here sitting at a lodge I happened to meet a social worker from England. She’s worked in different capacities all over the world. For quite a few years, she is settled in India. Telling us about few of her experiences she narrates how difficult it was to dissuade people in North Thailand against sending their daughters for human trafficking. People over there would cry and tell her, “We can’t help it, we had taken debt and now our girls are being taken away to repay it. The local authorities are mixed with the perpetrators and there is very slow criminal justice. They take away our daughters forcibly”.

She has worked with the impoverished class in Uganda and tried instilling in them the importance of local authority and their need to respect them and not fight them. Now she is settled in the hills of Uttrakhand and goes from village to village and tries to set up local schools that can educate the children, especially the girls. “The girls,” she says “are not readily sent to school in villages. So my basic aim has been to get in touch with small NGO’s and give power of education to children, though  I have tried to focus on going from house to house and tell them the need to educate girls.”

She continues to say, “I plan on staying few years more in India, work and take small breaks and travel. I want to get a better grasp of the culture; after all I too have originated from it. I recently was duped in Varanasi where I took my first religious holiday. I had heard of the reputation of the town as that being of a temple town and was very interested in going there. Yes, there were good lord too many temples there. The pandit ji there duped me of couple of thousands in doing some ‘puja’ that would make my ancestors rest in peace. In spite of that I loved the town with its Kashi Vishwanath temple that I’ve learnt is one of the important Shiva temple and saw the famous aarti on one of the ghats. Oh! the sight was gorgeous. Also nearby was the Sarnath just a mere 13 km away. Isipatana is mentioned by the Buddha as one of the four places of pilgrimage which his devout followers should visit, if they wanted to visit a place for that reason. It was also the sight of the Buddha's Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta , which was his first teaching after attaining enlightenment, in which he taught the four noble truths and the teachings associated with it”

And she is lost in thought for couple of minutes and then tells how interesting her years in India have been mixed with experiences related to culture, like the one of puja’s and it helping one’s ancestors rest in peace. “Well you see from where I come, these things are improbable and slightly hard to digest. But if this is my ancestor’s culture I do need to give it a chance and try and understand their believes. I plan on visiting Puri next month. It’s got beautiful architecture they say and has an important Vishnu temple.”

She pauses and then says, “How do you remember all the Gods and Goddesses. There are too many and I keep on getting confused. There are too many sects and variations in the Hindu culture itself. Till now I have only prayed to the all mighty Jesus of the Roman Catholic Church.” And she laughs at it.

Yes it’s a little obscure when you think of it and the so many Gods and Goddesses and their significant places to worship and then I wonder whether this Lady who has grown up with understanding of the Christian faith, has a Cambridge degree in International Sociology, is well versed in different languages will ever be able to understand the nuances of the Hindu religion and our Indian culture. Well her stay in India in so many years has made her quite proficient with the Hindi language at least. I wished her luck for her future endeavors and came back to my lodge.

Someone I met series

Ok so this idea of someone I met came from the caravan magazine and I decided myself to write about a few interesting people I met. I've already started with Someone I met- Mr Kapur. Hope you liked it now its time for someone I met 2. Hope u like this lady too

Someone I met

So here’s the story of Mr Manu Kapur whom I met recently at a social function. He has studied from IIFT in Delhi and has worked for various coveted companies.  He has been associated with International Trading / Retailing / Sourcing for over two  decades. He has had the chance of working with coveted organizations like the Murugappa Group, Metro AG, Li & Fung, Reliance Retail and IKEA. I currently head the South Asia sourcing operations of a major Department Store in the US.

He has been travelling since 1994. What seemed charming and exciting at first (a phase that was extremely short lived)' over the years has been an absolute nuisance something that he’d gladly give up if he had the opportunity to. The happiest part of his 3 year stint at Reliance Retail clearly was the fact that he wasn't travelling at all, except domestically, which strangely he don't mind as much. His travels have taken him far and wide - Pakistan & Bangladesh several times, since He’s handled the business operations of these countries on several occasions in the past and does so currently too. He’s also travelled extensively in Europe, North America, South East Asia, North Asia, Australia and the Middle East.

Several interesting incidents (some pretty scary at the time) come to mind in terms of travel over the years - being mugged at a sleepy railway station in a small town near Amsterdam, getting into an altercation with a fake policeman demanding money in Prague, speaking through the night with a colleague from Russia that he had never met or spoken with before till earlier that evening, to name a few.

One of the highlights though was this - He was in Bangkok several years back for a Buying Trip. The day went really well and they transacted business worth several million Duetsche Marks (pre Euro days) on the spot. To celebrate, the Chief Buyer of the group He was working with then decided to buy them a couple of rounds of drinks. After guzzling a couple of litres of beer, they decided to walk across to a famous Japanese restaurant for dinner. Each one of them ended up drinking more 'saki' than they could handle. They left the place, hand in hand (more out of support against stumbling than out of affection for each other) and then for some strange reason decided on hitting the hotel discotheque for some champagne. No prizes for guessing what followed - they passed out in our respective rooms. He woke up at noon for an 8 am meeting and doesn't recall getting ready in a shorter span of time. When he reached the conference room at the hotel, he found it deserted. The first thought in his mind was that everyone was probably out for lunch and that he would be skinned alive. A couple of minutes later, on enquiring from a hotel attendant, he found out (much to his relief) that he was the first person to show up for the meeting. Nobody came in for the half hour that he hung around in the room. He happily left after realizing that the others were probably still asleep. They reconvened at 8 am the following morning.

He’s a strict vegetarian so I asked how he has managed that? Being a vegetarian who has a strict mushroom allergy can be a huge challenge for a frequent traveller. After returning from trips feeling pretty bovine most of the times, what with the variety of leaves He’d get to eat in his insipid salads, it would be time for some stuffed 'aloo paranthas' immediately on getting back home. This was a tradition that his beloved mother started years back and even now, every single time He get back from a trip, irrespective of whether He’s hungry or not, purely sentimentally and out of extreme love for his mother, He religiously eats 'aloo paranthas' on his return - generally in the wee hours of the morning. 

Though he travels so much for work Ironically, He just loves travelling with his family. They've done several places in India - beaches, hill stations, wild life reserves et al. The highlight was a fortnight long road trip they did across Rajasthan.

Internationally, They've travelled as a family to Indonesia, Thailand, Singapore, Malaysia, Australia, China, Vietnam and Cambodia. The finest trip that he feels he had was this summer, when they went to Vietnam and Cambodia. It was absolutely perfect - great weather, lots of interesting things to do and great food.

One funny incident was when they drove down from Phnom Pehn in Cambodia to Siem Reap, to visit the famous Angkor Wat temples. They anticipated the journey to be much shorter than the 6 hours it took. As a result, they ended up getting to Siem Reap almost around the time that entry to Angkor Wat closes. They decided to visit the temples the next morning and go to a vantage point to watch the sunset that evening. His 9 year old daughter, who hadn't particularly enjoyed the ride, was very upset that they'd travelled six hours 'just for a sunset' and threw a huge tantrum.

 

 

 

Mahabharat and Ramayan saved the Day

 My nephew all of eight years was visiting us during his winter vacation. Being a nice aunt I wanted to welcome him with a gift, something that would be enhancing and educational and yet something that he would enjoy. Knowing his love for books, I went to the Om Book Shop outlet at Great India Place, Noida. I absolutely love their range and mix of books; they have a book available for everybody.

I wanted to buy something different and not the usual Enid Blyton’s because I have no clue about which ones he has and which he doesn’t. I was looking around when I saw these series of books that Om Book Shop has developed in their own publishing house. It’s the mythological series of picture books. There are many titles available ranging from Krishna, Ganesha, 365 Mythological Tales, Ramayana etc.

 

I totally fell in love with their Mahabharata. The language in the book is easy to understand. It has beautiful glossy pictures explaining the scenes. The story is not very detailed and not too abridged. The book is divided into chapters marking the major events of the epic. The pictorial narrative moves smoothly and effortlessly keeping you engrossed. It not only seemed a befitting gift for my nephew to educate him about our mythological and cultural beliefs but it seemed a good read too. The book is not age specific, I ended up buying it for my niece whose 4 years so that my sister can read it out to her and explain it in between if the need be and I also bought a copy for myself. I think all Moms’ need to get a look at it. It’s beautifully amazing.

 

Happy Birthday Mom

 

There’s no bond quite like that between mother and child. You know me in ways no one else ever will. You also see in me all the things I can still become and continue having faith that I can do and be whatever I want, no matter what my age. You are my biggest fan, my mentor, my confidant, my hero, my turn-to person when my world comes crashing down and the first person I call to tell when things are going great. The comfort that comes from our friendship, the confidence that your faith in me instils, and your unquestioning support of whatever I do, is irreplaceable. The kind of there-for-me that you are is the very essence of what makes a great mother. The last few years have been quite tough on you thanks to my good health. You can’t imagine what your being there has meant to me. There have been times where you felt helpless and your patience ran out and you have screamed at me, but I guess the ups and downs we’ve had in these years, you too needed to vent out. I don’t know what to say because since the last 3 years your life mainly revolves around me due to which many a times Bhav and Adi lose their patience and fight with you, all I can say is Thanks Mum and I wear your unconditional love and support around me like a big hug every single day.

I am so blessed to have you in my life. I’ve probably said it before — you are my angel on earth and maybe the only person I can pour my heart too. You truly are the world’s bestest friend. Thank you for always, always being at my side and having my back. No one is in by my side quite the way you are. No one understands me the way you do which sometimes leads to a lot of criticism from you, which when I think with a cool head always is beneficial for me. There are times when I’m stubborn like hell but then Mumma, I am a Chhatwani and a Capricornian so can’t help that. I am sorry for that coz it really irritates you. I treasure you, mother, and love you more than life itself. You are an amazing person ever ready to learn something new, always open to different opinions and ideas, and so compassionate and kind. You have always taught by example whatever you have experienced in your life, you try that we don’t commit mistakes and get hurt and sometimes we listen, but what I admire the most about you is that inspite of warning us and advising us if we still want to do a certain thing you give us room to commit our errors and mistakes and learn from them; even though when we fall you know it will hurt us and in turn hurt you even more. I hope you break 100 with good health and a strong mind. There’ll never be a day in my life when I won’t need you.

Just a small quick reminder that I love you and I’m here for you too. Please remember that. And don’t worry you’re seeing that I am making every possible effort, I shall get better soon and we shall travel a lot and create new memories.

Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday, mom. You make the world a better place.

Love you hell a lot, Big Hug and a Big Kiss

Aisi Vaani Boliye .... Oran ko Bhi Sheetal Kare.... Aap hu Sheetal hoe

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel...

This is a Mantra I’ve grown up with.... My mom always stressed upon and always said “Behave in a manner that you would like if someone was to do to you” hence I’ve tried to measure my words before speaking or evaluate my actions ... because of which sometimes I’ve been called calculative and a snob... either of which I believe I’m not.... Also I’m not trying to say I have been perfect and have never hurt a person... well that’s something that’s impossible.... what I’m saying is that I’ve always genuinely tried that I don’t do something that could make a person feel bad....

Anyways in the last few years there have been few incidences that have symbolically reiterated this Mantra over and again.

Few days back I bumped into a school friend whom I had had a fall out with as school was coming to an end. We hadn’t spoken since then. I saw her and we exchanged pleasantries and I asked her if she wanted to join me for a cup of coffee... she was hesitant but she agreed... trying to remain polite I asked if it was all good ... sitting for the coffee and all and hoping I hadn’t put her in a tight spot in anyway... and she laughed off saying “So you haven’t changed much it seems... Old habits die hard it seems...always measuring your words and actions” ... well I didn’t know how to react and I just smiled.... Our coffee came and we were exchanging notes on our life when she out of nowhere just started off... “Listen, I don’t even remember why we had a fall out.... I guess we were immature and stupid... But if you don’t mind lets mend the bridges”. Obviously I was slightly taken aback but very happily I agreed too... Not like I remember why had gotten bitter with each other....

We started getting nostalgic and reminiscing the old days when she told me, “You remember the music competition we had gone for.... I still can’t forget what you did... I had a hoarse throat and was really nervous about how I would be able to sing... but you not only comforted me through words but you from somewhere arranged warm water and disprins for me so that I could gargle and get myself into a position to sing... It’s truly because of you that I won that day”

I was so surprised that on my way back I just kept thinking that a small gesture of care and concern made such an impact that she remembers it till yet...

This got me thinking about my brother’s wedding that took place 2 years ago... obviously we had family and guests from all over and its a custom “atithi devo bhava” that you consider your guess above all... and that’s what I tried too... we used to have breakfasts and lunches at home before the main functions... so the whole family used to be together having lunch and we kids would help out a little by calling everyone or helping serve the breads and other necessary things around...for those 3-5 days till the guests were around.... Before leaving my Maternal Uncle specially called my mum and had a word with her. He went on to tell her that they had a wonderful time and there was nothing more that they could ask for in terms of how much we looked after them. He then added, about me, that your daughter has been exceptional. She made sure that this little girl provided breads and whatever drinks we asked for and only after she had made sure everyone was well looked after for did she sit for her own meal. She remembered everyone’s likings and then made sure that people get what they like. My Maternal uncle told my Mom that he would never be able to forgot the way I took care of them.

This had surprised me because according to me I had done nothing extra ordinary.... it was just something small that I did which eventually just stayed with them...

So the mantra came in front of us again - People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel..

I told mom about these incidences and she said it was bound to happen... we have taught you were your childhood to evaluate and do things and measure what you saw because people never forget how you make them feel and this not only stands for the nice things you do for people but nasty things too....

People eventually with the passage of time forget the nasty words but rarely do they forget the hurt they felt then... the humiliation they had been put through and this is what culminates into grudges that are kept for long long after the bitter incidences.....

So just try and keep a check on what you say and do.... Its always a pleasant feeling when someone remembers you with warmth and care...

My Knight(s) in the Shining Armour

Every girl grows up listening to the story of the Knight in the Shining Armour... of how her groom, her prince will come from a far away land and love her earnestly.... take care of her... dote upon her through ill will... who would be the one to stand beside her when any danger comes upon her.... Well, these stories get ever more melodramatic when the girl is dressed in her fineries and is looking all pretty... I grew up listening to these too... I have truly been a fairytale girl... listening and reading them up avidly and quite so believing in them too.

But. on an occasion in my younger years I sat and thought... this knight in shining armour would come when I am to be married but what about till then.... whose going to be my knight till then... the person who will stand by me and make sure nothing wrong happens to me... that day onwards I conjured up my knights from the real world... who I have always believed that I could just hide behind and every dark phase in my life would just vanish.

Yes, like every girl... the first knight I came up with was my Daddy.... I have always lived by that advertisement motto “My daddy strongest”.... my first and foremost super hero.... I’ve always known that with pa around nothing in this world could or can touch me.

Also, once when we were younger on the occasion of Rakhi we were taught the duty of a sister and a brother. How the sister is to pray for the long life of her brothers and in turn the brothers have to safeguard their sister from anything and everything in the world. Naturally, my four brothers were my second set of knights that I invented... With my two elder brothers and my two little brothers around I knew no sorrow could touch me.... I’ve experienced the bestest in my life with them and I was allowed to get adventurous too... after all my brothers were with me ... so what could go wrong...

My two Brothers in laws and my two cousins came next guiding me through the rough and tenuous patches.... Doting upon me and caring for me like no one else could.... I was always the little doll... pampered silly by them... I guess my petite structure always was an advantage for me... I’ve grown up to be an adult but I’m still treated like a small doll by them and doted fervently by them....

Last but not the least the only other person who took up the ‘knight’ spot was my Mama (maternal uncle)... they say that the word Mama is actually Ma – Ma... 2 times the mother and that’s how my mother’s younger brother has been... loving me like crazy and looking out for me just like a mother would....

I have a reason why I have narrated all this... Yesterday, I was just thinking.... Which person in the world would be able to match up to any of these “Knights”.... is it even possible.... Till date I feel that when anything bad happens I can hide behind any one of these and “lumos” (spell of Harry Potter to create light) there the darkness will vanish... I mean I understand that if at this age I was to physically do it... it would be a tad bit embarrassing but trust me I meant it just figuratively, though I’m quite capable of doing it too... but that’s another matter.... what I’m trying to say is... Would there actually be a person who can match up to any of em... Sheesh sometimes it really is not a good thing to be creative and live fairytales in your real life... This is what happens...

Three Cheers for my Knights (you’ll always be my Knights for life..... Yes, you’ve been bound to that duty for life unknowingly) and big big hugs to you.... I love you and this is an ode to you....

Suranya and Me

Yesterday my niece, Suranya was over and its a ritual... at her bed time I have to tell her stories and my little naughty girl tries to make me compete with her paternal aunt Nidhi.... After 1 or 2 stories when I try to get her to bed she always tells me " But My Nidhi Bua tells me so many stories" and I guess she does that with Nidhi too... Well these little kids sure are getting manupilative fast... Anyways thats not what I intended to write about....

Yesterday I was telling her a story and telling her how all kids should listen to their parents... and bad things happen when kids act naughty and dont listen to parents and how Mumma and Papa are the best and they make everything right....

And suddenly she blurted out " But My Dad is Fat" and I was stunned for a moment and then I had to think quick and tell her simple facts that My dad her maternal grand dad is fat too... but he's my super hero .... And so with time She finally asked "So Even though my dad is fat... He is my super hero... right???" and I was like thats absolutely how it is honey....

Its after she slept I kept thinking .... "Where did she draw the corelation of her dad being Fat and hence not being a super hero" and I realised that when we show our kids super hero movies and cartoons.... there is this imagery we're drawing in their head and hence when someone spells out SuperHero for them .... Someone super fit... super strong comes to their mind which to me is a buserque idea... I mean all these superheros batman, heman, superman, spiderman etcetera ... they make a good watch but they are flawed, unreal and absolutely fictious characters.... Thats where they should be limited to....

Children do need to be taught the difference between reel and real.... I mean parents, guides, friends, philosphers, pillars in life... they are the true superheros.... I mean what is a superhero.... Someone who guides you in times of trouble .... Someone whose there to watch out for you... your safety net.... and who other than the above mentioned people fall in that category....

So basically when she got up in the evening we were playing and I was talking to her and she again tried to verify with me " My Papa is fat but He's the best... right ??" and I controlled my laughter and had this funny proud feeling and I was like "Yes honey, absolutely... Mumma and Papa are always the best"

Arbitrariness

There have been few things that have been happening around the world and when I see the way people respond to these it gets me all Mad and Irritable....

I mean they are completely absurd and arbitrary.... Yes, in few situations I might seem cynical but I still don't understand the purpose behind it......

A few days ago, A girl was murdered in broad daylight in Delhi. She was a student of Delhi University, though the happening did not take place anywhere near the north campus... Ofcourse, everyone was shocked with what happened.... I mean it happened in front of so many people...... No one even tried to stop the purpetrators..... No one helped the poor girl or rushed her to the hospital.... People just stood there as imbecils till the police arrived.... Your heart goes out when something so absurd happens...

But... Hey, Whats with making Facebook groups to show solidarity and your concern and your sympathy for the family.... I mean why create a whole facade and drama of the whole thing... I mean ya I remember the Jessica Lal case and I also saw "No one killed Jessica" and I understand the importance of how the criminals need to be put behind bars and in situations when it doesnt happen the public needs to raise their voice.....But, again that's different than the facebook groups..... it seems like a sham...


Well, things get worse when they are politicized..... The very next day after the incidence the youth political parties took the agenda and started blocking trafiic and creating chaos in the north campus..... Again...hello... Whats with the roudiness and how the hell is that going to help.... I mean it doesnt help catch the criminals and trust me I dont understand what way of showing solidarity and compassion is this???? If at all something happened.... it got people harrowed and irritable because they were stuck in traffic.... Got people on the public transport little scared, for there was a riot being created in the public transport by these youth politicians and of course lots of names were hurled in voice and in mind for the youth politicians by the public...our Aam Janta

Well in the same week another horrible incident happend...Japan was hit by a massive earthquake and a terrible Tsunami.... I'm still slightly confused about the nuclear damage... as in I know that two reactors have blown off but I dont know if they have created nuclear catastrophe or not.....

What I want to say is anyone under this planet who saw the damage and the aftermath of the natural disaster and how badly it has effected the country of Japan, I would be shocked if they weren't shaken... If they weren't effected and prayers didnt go out well they really dont deserve to be called human....
On the other hand what I didnt understand were the BBMs that were being forwarded.... I mean it wasnt one of those chain forwards for which mobile companies or other institutions collect money for every message forwarded for the cause... If that was the case trust me I would fwd it to everyone I knew ... But this was futile......
I get slightly cynic when someone fwds me such msgs to pray and all... Coz for me this is something that comes from the heart and otherwise I feel its all a charade....I know when I voiced my opinion upon this my family also found it ludicrous saying that "No, such messages only put the point across stronger, otherwise people get busy in their personal lives and forget"

But, then I thought.... Everybody does get busy and moves on... I'm sure people in Japan too have even though they kept feeling the after shocks and are said to feel them for another week...But I'm sure it wont stop them from living their life.... But like everyone else they too whenever they think of the horor will send out a silent prayer... Just like all of us who are sitting miles away.... We might get busy.... but even when this topic will come up even for conversation sake we will invariably call out a silent prayer.... That's human tendency ....

I dont know I feel unless voicing emotions helps in doing something positive... you should let it be... Sometimes Pain is personal......
again I know many people might not appreciate my cynicism but then I too have a different view and different perception.....

Conveniently Yours…

Convenience – a word that im trying to figure out…

I mean as a child I thought it meant something that came in handy…

But as we grew up and became bitchy the meaning of the word got slightly degraded… and then we matured a little more and the meaning for me has become a little shady…. I mean I kind of don’t understand the word anymore and I’m trying to figure that out only….

I was talking to this friend of mine and discussing about the same and I said that what I figure out of that word is a person who you think you’re so close to that you take them for granted in absolute sense….as in this is someone you want to be there for and they mean a lot but somehow when you start figuring out the scheme of things, they just don’t seem to figure or get lost in the back ground with a thought “its ok …. Its XYZ… not like they’re running away” and when you have time you conveniently place them back….

At that my friend got cheesed off and sounded me off saying I had gotten too cynical about things….. and that’s how life is and everybody has a life…. and people need to do things…… and we’re not children anymore….. and we have more pressures on us…. and now we don’t have time like we used to and yada yada yada

How come is it you always take a back seat when you need standing up or that extra hour with them… how come you never figure out even though you’re a priority and when you try to complain you become the selfish bitch…. How come you’re the one left to “Hey Understand Ya”…

Well we had our coffee and came back… for a little time I felt guilty also that ya I’m wrong and of course how can I expect anything else… and maybe I’m wrong only and I need to grow up…

But then I sat down at night and I thought… Fine agreed to everything she said…But what I’m saying is not wrong to… if this is not convenience what is…

When you need someone and they’re not there….when they are jobless and comfortable in life they are there to support and but when life starts becoming bitchy for them how come you with your problems become the selfish prick around…. They pick a nice comfortable time “Oh it’s a Sunday let me be a little generous and prove that I’m there”….

Well trust me I understand that people have their own thing and can’t be there for you 24/7 or always when you need them, they have a life of their own.. I’m talking about when people 9 times out of 10 use that “busy” excuse and conveniently come around 1 time…..

Well for me that’s definitely not the case of “I’m there for you”… it’s more a case of when it’s convenient for me then I’ll be magnanimous and be there for you…

So that’s what I’ve figured out in the past couple of days whenever I think about the word Convenience…. What do you say???

Marriages are Made in Heaven

I had my first Heart break as a teenager and my mother came and empathized with me and comforted me and said " Honey, Don't Worry This was not meant to be, After all Matches are made in Heaven"



And we have all grown up hearing things to the same effect "Darling you will find your soul mate in time and after all Matches are made in heaven" .... "Sweety, there is a prince/princess waiting for you somewhere, its all destiny when you will find your match. They are made in heaven" and the list of such statements by our friends, philosophers, Guides... basically all our loved ones just goes on and on...


In India, arranged marriages are quite popular and people work on this very concept while making eligible grooms and brides meet.... It's all destiny child... Wait and Watch.... You'll meet your "One".... It's all made UP there.... Well you may have to parade around and meet 10 -20 more people just to find your "One"... But then you have to work hard to ultimate reap the benefits of "A happily ever after life"... Our Parents, grand parents that's how they got married and hence have passed this belief along generations...


One of my friends got married to their own best friend, they had known each other since play school... Obviously there was no plan as such then and not even as they grew up.... they dated other people, were always each others shoulder to cry on to rely on.... When the became marriageable age their families started looking for suitable matches in fact they even floated the idea of both of them marrying to each other but they turned it down and were looking out for people, even more so they were helping each other meet other people for marriage... it just turned out that both of them didn't realize when they had fallen for each other and then like every fairy tale they are living happily ever after..... And Oh ya as they got married they also did get to hear "See We told you. you're made for each other and this match was made in heaven"....


The point being yes I did believe in this till a few days ago.... I did believe in that fairytale story of my prince charming coming one day.... ya maybe like not on a horse and all or waking me up from my slumber sleep of 99 years or from the death bed casket...but ya the prince, the works of the fairytale and that happily ever after life... basically finding my match made in heaven....



But then something happened few days ago and it has led me to question this belief of mine... My two close friends drifted towards heaven....They were in love with these two guys for the past eight years.... their parents weren't too happy about the matches .... because both the guys belonged to a different religion and well they believed their daughters were doing the wrong thing since these "matches could not have been made in heaven" and hence weren't the right and acceptable choices for them.... the girls could not face the wrath of their parents and rather decided to face the wrath of the destiny and moved along to an after life in heaven....



Well this left me quite uncomfortable with myself and my belief... If this wasn't meant to be then what is... These four people spent a third of their life maintaining this relationship.... working towards nurturing their dream.... basing their every action and decision studies.... work.... work city everything towards fulfilling that one dream.... of hoping to have a happily ever after..... of growing old together....



Spending one third of your life nurturing a dream and then having to think/believe its not meant to be feels like betrayal.....If this was not meant to be then why did HE up there put this inception in their mind that they are meant to be together... that they are the "One" for each other... why make people work so hard in building a world of dreams and then just pulling that earth beneath their feet.... making them stretch so much... that, that string finally snaps



This really left me at odds end with myself.... I don't know if I believe in the maxim of Matches/Marriages made in heaven..... But, I definitely know that "YOU up there.... weren't definitely fair" !!!!

Random

Looking
Searching for
Colors that were
Reality once
On a canvas
That's mostly black
Sometimes in
Happy fuzzy moments Grey
A color on the canvas
I ironically don't want
Is red...
hearts completely
Spent and bled
And all I see in the color
Are lots of people lying dead.
Somewhere there has to be
A clearing
An opening
A door
And then from
The fuzzy moments of Grey
The canvas will turn clean white
Facilitating a new painting of
A beautiful sunset
Mystic dreamy valley
Roaring rivers
Will appear and magically
Create the colors
That were once there

One Letter Short of Danger

Listen, I'm sorry ... I really didn't mean to

Relax...I'm fine and you Don't need to apologize....

And the conversation became normal and after few minutes the question popped

"What is it.... Why does the anger even at a basic level unnerve you...As in so many times even when its not your fault you end up apologizing just to ease out the situation....What is it?"


Laughter... No it's no filmy crap or any dirty secret from my past that is embedded in my memory which scares me... Its just I don't like the concept of Anger.... One of those silly things "Anger is one letter short of Danger"

And with that answer I got a look of "Stop Bullshitting Me" and then I had to explain further

Anger according to me is the most damaging thing.... People's worst side comes out when they are angry.... It's reactions are short sighted.... Even the most virtuous people in History are known to have resorted to violence because of their anger. It makes us do things that we regret later and sometimes things that are unrepairable...

Yes I'm human and I do get angry too, but I prefer to go quite because it can create a lot of damage... Ill spoken words, violence what does it achieve... just bad feelings and a feeling of regret later.. When in a fight I either can fuel the fight by further speaking rudely else I can be the one to say sorry and end it there. Why carry on the fight and the tension and the ill-will and all??? Isn't it best to end it there...

The most virtuous of kings... Ashoka- The Great in his spite and anger led the conquest of Kalinga which led to a lot of destruction. The exact reason for the Wat of Kalinga is unknown but it is said that

Susima's brothers might have fled to Kalinga and found official refuge there. This enraged Ashoka immensely. Ashoka asked the royalty of Kalinga to submit before him but they refused.

Ashoka sent one of his generals to Kalinga to make them submit.

The general and his forces were completely routed through the skilled tact of Kalinga's commander-in-chief. Ashoka was baffled at this defeat and then attacked Kalinga with the greatest invasion ever known. The whole of Kalinga was plundered and destroyed. About 100,000 people were killed on the Kalinga side and 10,000 from Ashoka's army. This was the price of his anger. There after he felt remorse.

Whats the use of such anger which leads to pain and destruction for so many. So many times even when the anger doesn't come out and simmers within a person it is harmful. Yes even when I get angry and I go quiet .... I get this burning feeling inside and feel irritable and end up harming myself.. In my anger, I can't think rationally and can't do things in a proper manner, so yes even though I don't speak mean and I don't hurt the other person it does harm me...

So ya I do prefer letting the matter go with a simple sorry and that does help mellow the other person down and then talk it out with them and clear the misunderstanding.

Also when you re arrange the alphabets of Anger they come to Range and really I do feel that anger does harm and destroy everything in Range.... As in when a persons angry they end up being mean and rude to people who haven't even done anything...Your near and dear ones end up facing the brunt of someone else's mistakes or improper behavior....Just because of your anger, You lash out on everyone else and that's not fair or reasonable but that does happen.. So ya I feel Anger destroys things in Range.

So that's just the reason why I get un-nerved when I'm around people who are angry or when a similar situation.... I feel its prudent just to say Sorry and ease the situation at hand...And please you know I'm not bull-shitting now so trust me and let be...Lets enjoy the food

Fairytale - Be good

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel"

This is my biggest and strongest belief in my life and hence most of the time I behave in a manner that is befitting my belief.... As in there are many times when I'm doing certain things and honestly I'm not happy doing them but I still do them because I feel that people will remember my actions and some day when the circle completes that good turn will come my way.... and even if it doesn't at least I will definitely have this satisfaction of saying I was right and I'm glad I did nothing wrong in my anger.

But this sentence or belief has a much larger and stronger meaning and emphasis. A persons actions whether good or bad always remain with people. If someone unexpectedly or without any reason does a good turn... you end up feeling good and that good feeling stays. Similarly if someone was to act like a jerk without any reason there is this "what the hell" feeling and then it kind of stays for most part of the day.

Good deeds and actions done with or without a reason always bring a smile to people's face and that smile reaches their heart and stays as a memory. It's never forgotten. It becomes an anecdote to tell for a large part of people's life.

There's a reason why few sayings like "You will reap as you sow" or "One good deed deserves another" or "Life is a circle and you face your demons and niceness here" were made. They definitely hold true. And if you keep patience you see them unfold in front of your eyes.

I know its easier said than done, but even though a person might act mean and totally not nice, you as a person should not leave your ground and keep on being nice. The person at that time might not see your niceness or might take you for granted because you're nice. But one day, its my belief they do see things in retrospect and are filled with remorse at what they did or what they lost but sometimes by then its too late and they are left with nothing but guilt. Your good actions and behaviour will never go un-noticed.

I very strongly believe in fairy tales .... and also believe that any story that did not have a happy end cannot be a fairy tale and you have to keep patience to meet your fairy tale. But until then you have to keep on being good.... Every fairy tale has had the beautiful princess and a handsome prince but everything going against them and yet the princess and prince kept their niceness and fought their way through and only then did they receive a "Happily Ever After" and that's precisely how life is....Unfair and a long battle with lots of obstacles and eveil step mothers and dragons and curses but a person with a strong character maintaining his niceness only gets the Happily Ever After...

So Be GOOD.... There's always someone watching.... There's always someone's life you end up touching without knowing.... There are always hundreds silent good wishes given and prayers read for your niceness and you just never know which prayer reaches HIM and turns your life into a Happily Ever After Fairytale

Can There......

Can there be a time when you’re so lost that your presence can’t be found……

I mean ya… not the case of Lost in thought… those we’ve all had and have been castigated by our teachers at least once during our lifetimes…. Even the geeks have been lost in some thought even if it was yet another numerical they were solving in their head during English class and had to be hauled back to life/senses… back to the lit. class. Point being, all of us have been lost like that and I definitely didn’t mean this lost…..

And yes I don’t mean the lost like the “The Lost” sit com where you’re lost in some geographical unit of the world like an island waiting to be found or the Tundra and Alaska where there’s a saying that once you’re lost.. You might never be found…..

I mean, can there actually be a time in life where your own presence can’t be found… even by you… where you feel completely lost to things around you and there seems no way that can turn around things… there seems no way that can lead to an opening…a ray of light.. A solution….. Where the only solution that could and is available to you in fact might get you in a deeper black hole…..

Can you ever be so detached and clueless where you seek for the company of people…. Where your privacy and you solitariness threatens you and you go looking for the comforting company of your most trusted and loved ones and in fact that turns out to unnerve you further…. Where someone is so close to you… is your hope and an expression to your emotion but still is so far away… so distant…so not there sitting 2 inches away from you…. You’re left completely baffled at now what….

Can you be so falsified and dissimulated by your own self where you lose track of your own senses….

I mean like you lose track of your own hunger…. Where you feel hungry, then in matter of few minutes you don’t …. And in case you do end up eating you’re so distorted that nothing seems compatible or palatable to your taste buds… nothing no pizza… no pasta… no butter chicken… you just end up eating little coz you know its imperative….

Where any/ all music on your drives and disks somehow stops making sense and sounds cacophonous and the peace and quite also irritates you…

Can you ever be so Unacquainted with your own self…..

I thought not…. But I guess Yes…….

How lost is lost

How lost is found…..

How what was found was lost….

An emotion

A soul

A heart

A break

A person who’s fake

A journey we didn’t take

A life we could not make

Things that matter

Emotions/moments to gather